The Garbage Plate
September 2018 — about fifteen months in, the morning after a Penn State game
I went live that morning still full from the night before. Not "I could skip breakfast" full. Full like the food was sitting at the back of my throat while I talked. I wanted people to see that, because I like to remind the group now and then that I'm human and I don't eat perfectly (live RBIC9068).
Here's how it went. It was the Penn State game. We were losing for a while, then we blew the doors off Illinois, and the bar was chanting. I was drinking low-carb beer and other light stuff, which was fine. Then I bought a round, and some of the people I bought it for left before it showed up. So three beers landed in front of me when I only wanted one. I drank all three on top of what I'd already had, and now I was properly drunk (live RBIC9068).
On the way home I stopped at the shop where I was working and cooked. Fried-up peppers and mushrooms and everything, plus a few onion rings that were not keto. It was a garbage plate of a thing, at about one in the morning, and it was delicious. I'd made enough for three people. Then one friend said they had work the next day and headed home, so it was food for two, and I hate wasting food. In the morning I found the evidence: beer bottles, the takeout container I'd carried it home in (I'd had to take a second one), a bowl with a fork in it. I definitely finished it (live RBIC9068).
What I did the next morning
I didn't punish myself. I said that on the live and I meant it.
- No forced breakfast. If you're still that full, waiting a couple of hours to eat isn't fasting or skipping a meal. It's just not being hungry yet.
- Fiber. I took the psyllium husk capsules I'd been suggesting to people, because after a big overeat things get behind schedule and it helps get me back to neutral.
- A walk, but not as a penance. A walk wouldn't be a terrible idea. If you're walking to "burn off" last night, though, that's the wrong way to think about it. Walk because you feel sluggish and you want your momentum back. I still did push-ups, but because they were on the schedule, not because of the plate.
- A low-food, prescriptive day. Field greens, the marinated chicken we had at work, some peppers and mushrooms, my vitamins, my protein. I wasn't going to starve. It just wasn't going to be a food day (live RBIC9068).
I also tried to look at what I did right. I'd had a high-protein keto dinner ready and I ate it. The problem was everything after it (live RBIC9068).
The part I didn't want to say
That morning I also admitted something. For two months I'd done nothing but gain. I'd let my sister's wedding turn into a couple of weeks of being sloppy, and between the wedding, dating and going out too much, I'd put weight on. There was no "KetoDick crushing it" to report. I was closer to 210 that morning. The KetoDick the group had come to know was, as I put it, kind of jolly at 230 (live RBIC9068).
And here's the weird part. I'd become almost arrogant about gaining. For most of my life every pound felt permanent. You gain five and you think, well, I guess I'm a 250-pound person now. Once I knew I could lose it, gaining stopped scaring me, and that comfort was its own problem. Just because I can lose five pounds doesn't mean I should go gain five (live RBIC9068).
Then the honest bit: I was a little afraid of getting lean. For kickboxing I wanted to be under about 15% body fat, and I was around 18 or 19. Getting there meant looking like the six-pack fitness guys who post photos meditating in front of a waterfall, and I worried I'd stop being the approachable guy people knew, on camera and on dating apps. I called it what it was: self-sabotage (live RBIC9068).
The good news was real, though. The depression I'd been fighting lifted like a veil about a week before, and I felt fine in a way that surprised me. And while I'd been clearing out stuff to simplify my life, I gave away the fat clothes I'd hung on to for years. I'm not planning to be 240 again, so I don't need to keep a closet ready for it (live RBIC9068).
What I'd tell you now
I'd still tell you to skip the punishment and just get back to eating on plan the next meal. I'd add a little on the fiber. The research isn't about a psyllium rescue after one big night. It's about daily intake: EFSA puts about 25 g a day as adequate for normal bowel function in adults (doi.org/10.2903/j.efsa.2010.1462), and a review of trials found the thicker, more viscous fibres cut appetite more often than the less viscous ones did (doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-789X.2011.00895.x). So eat your vegetables every day, not just the morning after. The whole picture is on the fiber evidence page. If overeating ever feels out of your control, or you have a history of an eating disorder, bring a doctor in before you try any of this (keto and eating-disorder history). More on drinking: Can You Drink Alcohol on Keto?. More on the morning after: What Happens If You Cheat on Keto? and Habits That Keep the Weight Off.
Earlier: $960 a Year, Fifty People, No More · Later: Hit in the Eyeball, No Longer Cuddly